Here goes:
Us guys are killing porn.
We are killing porn in a wide variety of ways.
Hold on. Wait a damn minute? What do you mean we're killing porn? Aren't you being a bit ridiculous in making that claim?
I don't really think I am.
I've been watching and consuming porn for almost 25 years. I think that the blessing and boon that is the internet was the beginning of the downhill slide, but the descent has only accelerated in the last decade or so.
The tube sites and piracy negatively impact the bottom line of many of the companies. On some level, it has stifled creativity, IMHO. It also financially hurts the pro-am performer, as they receive no compensation for stolen clips/videos that you wank to for free (and guilt free, apparently).
Social media has been a blessing in some respects, but it also is fraught with perils. Yes, it allows for performers to reach out and communicate with fans and consumers, but there are way too many assholes who really have no idea how to respectfully communicate with women.
I feel like I've written this before, but let me state (again) for the record: Your favorite porn star is not always on the clock. They don't sit around all day dreaming about running a train of dicks 24/7/365. That's your fantasy, not necessarily theirs.
And even if, for some reason, it was her fantasy, that's not exactly the kind of overture/thing you need to bring up again. And again. And again.
Additionally, let me add that you really shouldn't be sending dick pics unsolicited. (I would even hesitate to send a solicited one, but that's just me.)
I have had the pleasure of meeting and becoming friendly with a few performers. I don't say that to brag, but rather to make a point that if you are polite and kind, that gets you further than being a raging satyr.
Additionally, though, to ensure the proper care and (yes) feeding of your favorite porn performer, consider the following:
1) Support their work by helping to promote it. It doesn't take that much effort to retweet a link to a scene they have on a major company site. It doesn't take much effort to like and retweet the scenes they produce and sell. Hell, I would say that the second scenario is more important than the first one, as helping a performer promote their OWN WORK gets the money directly in their pockets.
2) Support their work financially. In brief...pay for your goddamn porn. Best case scenario, you become a member of a few girls's websites. If you can roll like that, cool. If you can't...don't steal porn. Buy a few clips if you can't afford to be a recurring member. It's a bit of a cliche to say that every little bit helps...but every little bit helps.
Again, if you're on the big baller end and can buy them items off of their wishlists (or even meet them for a private session if that is available) or be a recurring member, then please do that.
3) Don't be a nuisance. Respect a performer's time. Time is money. Most women will have rules about how to contact them and when for certain things. Reading is fundamental with regards to this. Pay attention to those guidelines and don't violate them.
Give her some time to respond. I realize we are in an era of instant communication, but that doesn't mean that folks are always in a position where they can respond immediately. Wait a few days and if you don't hear back from her, then politely resend your message. But to send three messages within five minutes makes you look thirsty and petulant and immature; none of those are qualities that are appealing.
4) Don't think you're going to start dating her. Again, that is your fantasy, not necessarily her reality. Get the idea that you're going to "wife her up" or some such related nonsense out of your head.
Look, the women in this industry, as much as they may like sex, are not objects. They're not props. They are still human beings with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It seems stupid that I even have to write those words, but I see too much bullshit from guys online who fail to acknowledge that simple fact.
Who don't keep their hands to themselves at AVN or Exotica.
Who send message after message and then get pissed if they aren't responded too as if they are "master" within a nanosecond of the message being sent.
Who fail to comprehend that the only person obsessed with their dick 24/7 is, well...them.
And then they wonder why the women burn out and retire. Or why they lock their accounts down. Or why they have to hire security and bodyguards and don't want to be bothered with you at all.
Look, I am far from a Pollyanna; I am not naive enough to think that the assholes who need to read this are going to read it and give it the time of day. But I think there are enough of us who consider ourselves "good guys" (and I loathe such a term) that we need to do more in addressing this noxious behavior and call this bullshit out.
Otherwise, my hyperbole will come true.
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