Showing posts with label black. Show all posts
Showing posts with label black. Show all posts

Friday, May 3, 2019

Coming to Terms with Below Average Attractiveness


A few years back (and every now and then) I tried to make a bit of a go as an amateur video performer. I set up my clip store, shot a few solo videos (and a few with a co-star) and tried to sell them.

I admit to being bad at the promotional aspect of things, so that obviously limited my earning potential. Not being able to show my face for personal and vanilla job reasons also limits me somewhat. I get that. I understand that.

But I admit to a larger concern, and it is one of the things that has vexed me and kept me from trying to set up more possible trade shoots.

The larger concern is that I feel that I am simply not good looking enough to work with others.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Preferences Are Fine. Fetishizing People Is Not.


I’ve seen it mentioned recently in a couple of tweets that “People are not a fetish”. I agree with the sentiment behind that statement, although I would refine it to read that “People should not be a fetish.” Because the reality is that people’s racial and ethnic backgrounds are, unfortunately, fetishes for some.

Since I’m a big nerd, though, let’s go to the dictionary (Thanks Merriam-Webster!):
fetish
noun  fe·tish 
1a : an object (such as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence
b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession
c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
2: fixation 
3: a rite or cult of fetish worshippers

Speaking as a black male, there are multiple subcultures where black men (and our skin color) are the focus of somewhat irrational reverence or prepossession; where our bodily parts are viewed as an object of fixation and the presence of certain parts are necessary for the sexual gratification of some individuals/couples.

Is that correct or nice? No. No one should be reduced to being viewed as a collection of discrete parts. And yet it happens a lot; too often in fact.

(Porn is guilty of doing this. All the damn time. In all kinds of different fucking ways, by the way).

Let’s move on to another word, though, that might make more sense in the context of some of the things we see bandied about online: