Look, let's just cut right to the chase.
Lately, on the Twitter-webz, there has been, shall we say, a bit of drama circulating within the BBW porn performer circle.
Actually, the drama seems to be radiating from one source in particular. Now, to be fair, I don't quite know what this one woman's issue is, as she apparently is tweeting things and then pulling them down after they get a response.
Funnily enough, this same individual screenshots phone messages and tweets directed at her (allegedly) so that she can have evidence in case she is wronged (I guess) and can let the whole world know exactly what YOU did to wrong her.
Or something along those lines.
Look, I'm not trying to be a white knight, as I happen to know and am friendly with a few of the individuals who received some of this individual's wrath over the last few days. Am I best friends? No. Have I slept with any of the people involved? Hell, no. Have I performed with any of the people involved? (Laughing hysterically.)
(Wiping tears from eyes.)
No. No, I haven't.
So, let me reiterate: I am not being a white knight. I am not taking sides in this debate. I do think that the individual who seems to have issues with everyone might want to take a good, long look in the mirror. Because the ugliness that you are radiating isn't because other people are the problem. I think that you, madam, are the actual epicenter of the negativity and irrational behavior.
Beef with one person is expected; it is naive and difficult to think that everyone within a given industry/given community is going to like each other. It doesn't happen because there are enough individual differences among a sufficiently large enough group of people to cause friction between any two individuals.
With that being said, though:
* When there is a line out the door of people who feel the need to call you names in retaliation for some things that you've said
* When you feel that you have to document the actions of everyone around you to the point where you are screenshotting conversations and not deleting messages for "business purposes" yet you delete things that YOU'VE written
I think the problem lies with you. Most of the weight is on the other side of the balance scale, and the scale is not tipping in your favor.
Again, that is just my outside opinion. I do understand that I do not have all of the facts, so that may be contributing to my confusion. Of course, in most cases, we know that there are three sides to any story, with the truth being somewhere in between the recollections of the two primary parties involved.
I do, however, want to make a larger point to all of the models/camgirls/performers out there, and this is to point something out as a fan.
It's...disheartening, to say the very least, to see so much shit fly back and forth.
Again, I am not so naive to think that these back and forths break down any mythologized ideal/fantasy about you.
But it comes across as immature at best, to be frank, to have so much dirty laundry out there. I really do wish that a lot of this shit went backchannel; utilize some other method of communicating your issues with each other.
I just don't think that a complete airing of all of the shit that goes on needs to happen on social networks/social media. It makes all involved look small, petty and immature. It's like revisiting junior high school or lower with the level of name calling that takes place.
Twitter is something of an instant release. You type it out in 140 characters or so (maybe longer if you use Twitlonger or just break it up into multiple tweets) and you get to vent. It's akin to punching a locker or a wall. Sometimes, you just want to hit something.
I get it, I do.
But does hitting that wall actually accomplish anything? Isn't there a greater risk involved of you injuring yourself than there is of injuring the sheetrock or the piece of metal?
Maybe I'm in the minority here; maybe it's how I was raised or trained in conflict mediation when I worked in my previous field. But I've always been told/believed that it was better to either air out differences directly, without using intermediaries unless absolutely forced to.
I also believe that, well, trolls enjoy being fed. And internet trolls feed off of attention—whether that is positive attention or negative attention. All that matters to the internet troll is the attention comes towards them.
Which is another reason, I say, to keep these kinds of arguments off of social media, especially if you are in the right. It's most likely going to get swallowed up by the noise.
I live by this saying from
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5:
MACBETH
...And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
