Short Story: "She Shoots, They Score"

I couldn’t believe my luck.

I was on the Snag a Seat app, which shows last minute, available tickets for sporting events and concerts. Someone posted that they had a ticket to the Kansas vs. North Carolina basketball game here in Las Vegas—one of the biggest games of the year. And they were asking for an impossibly low amount for the seat. I filled out my information quickly and snapped it up.

I got to the arena with plenty of time to spare. I got through security without a hitch and wandered the concourse looking for the right section. I grabbed a beer, double checked the ticket on my phone, located the right section, and made my way to my seat on the end of the row.

The seat was perfect: lower bowl of the arena at center court about halfway up. Why was this seat so cheap? I wondered to myself. Did I get scammed?

“Excuse me,” I heard a voice say. “I need to get to that seat next to you.”

I was snapped out of my thoughts and turned to look at who was speaking to me. I found myself staring at a zaftig woman with curly brown hair that ran partway down her back. Her brown eyes gazed at me from behind a pair of black framed glasses. She had a small ring piercing her nose. She moved a couple of loose strands of hair behind her left ear as she gave me a quizzical look.

It took me a second to respond; my brain stopped working as soon as I saw her. I’m an idiot like that sometimes when it comes to beautiful women. And I definitely thought she was beautiful.

“Sorry. Um, here, let me get up,” I said as I stood up. I was a good seven inches taller than her. She squeezed past me, her plump ass accidentally grazing my crotch as she slid by. I gulped and started to cough to cover up the audible sound that gulp made.

Coming to Terms with Below Average Attractiveness

A few years back (and every now and then) I tried to make a bit of a go as an amateur video performer. I set up my clip store, shot a few solo videos (and a few with a co-star) and tried to sell them.

I admit to being bad at the promotional aspect of things, so that obviously limited my earning potential. Not being able to show my face for personal and vanilla job reasons also limits me somewhat. I get that. I understand that.

But I admit to a larger concern, and it is one of the things that has vexed me and kept me from trying to set up more possible trade shoots.

The larger concern is that I feel that I am simply not good looking enough to work with others.

Dear Ms. Fantasy (2019)

When I first started blogging off and on about porn 11 (!) years ago, one of the first things I committed to digital memory is a piece in which I honored the beauty of some women in the industry. I called it, at the time, "Dear Ms. Fantasy" as a pun of sorts; a play on words of the Traffic song, "Dear Mr. Fantasy".

From the start, I was skewing older. What are you gonna do?

via GIPHY

When I brought it back later, I renamed that post, "The Lust List". Those posts have consistently been the ones that have the highest click rates of anything that I write.

But I have shied away from those posts in recent year because of time. And not wanting to just paint women as objects to be lusted after. And the fact that the world has kind of gone to hell in a handbasket recently.

But sexwork is essentially under attack now. With Tumblr and their bullshit about taking porn down in Decemeber. To FOSTA/SESTA affecting escorts and companions and essentially doing the opposite of what it was intended to do. To guys basically not knowing how act online when engaging with performers and escorts...it is all just too damn much.

So I realize that this post probably amounts to nothing more than the equivalent of "Thoughts and Prayers". And I acknowledge, again, that the best way to support your favorite porn performer is to buy their content or get them items off of their wishlists that they can use on camera.

With all that being said as a preamble, I should just get to the point of this post:

The resurrection of Dear Ms. Fantasy.

Brief Thoughts on Beauty and Expectations

(Editor's note: This post initially appeared on my Tumblr. But since they decided to kill that site by removing erotica, porn, etc. I just decided to move a couple of my commentary pieces here.)

As an solid, hardcore introvert, I find people watching at remove to be a fascinating hobby. And the amateur sociologist in me has been pondering this conundrum recently:

The expectation of an attractive person being good in bed is somewhat paradoxical, no?

The theory is that we are usually attracted to others by what we see first; usually we have to be interested in what we see in order to engage. As a 5 on a scale of 1-10 I concede that I am guilty of this every damn day. And I am really not in a position to judge.

(I'm probably being generous in calling myself a 5 as well.)

Anyway, what I wonder, though, is how often does the rating on appearance match up with the ability to actually satisfy a partner in bed.

Like, we drool over women (or men, for those who swing that way) all the time that might be gorgeous/handsome...but how disappointed would we actually be if we got them into bed and found out that they were horrible?

Addendum to a Prior Post on Fetishizing People

(Editor's note: This post initially appeared on my Tumblr. But since they decided to kill that site by removing erotica, porn, etc. I just decided to move a couple of my commentary pieces here.)

So I wrote this yesterday at my other spot on the web. But I wanted to add a brief thought.

One of the things that led me to post this was seeing a few profiles on Twitter where there were women and couples very much trying to live the “Queen of Spades”/cuckold lifestyle where the black dick is good enough to fuck, but god forbid they care about the life of the actual man attached to the dick. A whole lot of MAGA-type propaganda mixed in with the tweets bragging about taking black dick and loving black dick on the profiles of some of these folks.

I find the cognitive dissonance fascinating and frustrating.

Basically, they just want a flesh dildo.

Navigating Companionship as a Client of Color

Hopped on the Twitter machine earlier today and saw this post lingering:

It’s sad that some men have to ask if a provider will see their race. I couldn’t image having to deal with that type of discrimination. I can’t image why some ladies would deny a client based on race. Shit has got me fucked up 💔

— Emma Lee (@EmmaLee_Riley) September 6, 2018

I wrote a brief reply tweet, but thought that it was worth expanding my thoughts a bit.

I first started seeing providers as a client when I was in college in the mid 1990s. The small town that I went to school in had what was, for all intents and purposes, a brothel on the northern edge of town. I didn't know what it was at the time; I was a horny 18 and 19 year old when I learned about the place from the nascent internet and was riding my bike five miles one way to receive some companionship.

I was young and in much better shape, but I was also black. And in a rural college town, especially on the outskirts of said town, I still felt like I had to be careful. And I was always wary of possible rejection.

Preferences Are Fine. Fetishizing People Is Not.

I’ve seen it mentioned recently in a couple of tweets that “People are not a fetish”. I agree with the sentiment behind that statement, although I would refine it to read that “People should not be a fetish.” Because the reality is that people’s racial and ethnic backgrounds are, unfortunately, fetishes for some.

Since I’m a big nerd, though, let’s go to the dictionary (Thanks Merriam-Webster!):

fetish

noun  fe·tish 

1a : an object (such as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence

b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession

c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

2: fixation 

3: a rite or cult of fetish worshippers

Speaking as a black male, there are multiple subcultures where black men (and our skin color) are the focus of somewhat irrational reverence or prepossession; where our bodily parts are viewed as an object of fixation and the presence of certain parts are necessary for the sexual gratification of some individuals/couples.

Is that correct or nice? No. No one should be reduced to being viewed as a collection of discrete parts. And yet it happens a lot; too often in fact.

(Porn is guilty of doing this. All the damn time. In all kinds of different fucking ways, by the way).

Let’s move on to another word, though, that might make more sense in the context of some of the things we see bandied about online:

First FOSTA/SESTA. Now This Bullshit

So FOSTA/SESTA passed and completely disrupted several aspects of the adult entertainment industry online, causing several major escort review sites and message boards to shut down, along with the entire personals section of Craigslist as well as the total sites Backpage and Mojovillage. I wrote about that here.

Now, it appears that the next prong in the attack on American sex workers is to stop them for having access to money. A current bill that has passed the House but has not yet come up for vote in the Senate is the End Banking for Human Traffickers Act. Again, meant to crack down on human trafficking, but will instead take aim at the people that have voluntarily entered into sex work.

Don't Let FOSTA/SESTA Be The End Of Sex Work

It has been horrifying to witness the fallout from the signing of FOSTA/SESTA and what it has done to sexwork in the United States.

For those who have been living under a rock, FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) and SESTA (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) are bills from the House and Senate that were signed into law back in April. Ostensibly, on the face, the bill were created to make it illegal to knowingly assist, facilitate, or support sex trafficking.

However, they was essentially a poison pill included that amended a past Communication Decency Act, which removed immunity from online services for the actions of their users.

What this poison pill has led to was the seizure of Backpage.com, the termination of the classified section of Craigslist, and the shutdown (out of fear) of other sites in the United States that provided a forum for professional sex workers to advertise and promote their services.

It has also led to Twitter and other social media sites to revise their terms of use to provide them more shielding in the wake of FOSTA/SESTA (and probably to continue and step up their shadowbanning of sex workers).

This has had harmful, deleterious affects on the women who utilize these services.

Guys, We Are Killing Porn

I admit that I do not subscribe to traditional machismo, and that probably, in the eyes of some of y'all, invalidates the point I am about to make. But to be blunt, I don't really give a fuck if you think that. It doesn't make it any less true.

Here goes:

Us guys are killing porn.

We are killing porn in a wide variety of ways.

Hold on. Wait a damn minute? What do you mean we're killing porn? Aren't you being a bit ridiculous in making that claim?

I don't really think I am.

I've been watching and consuming porn for almost 25 years. I think that the blessing and boon that is the internet was the beginning of the downhill slide, but the descent has only accelerated in the last decade or so.

The tube sites and piracy negatively impact the bottom line of many of the companies. On some level, it has stifled creativity, IMHO. It also financially hurts the pro-am performer, as they receive no compensation for stolen clips/videos that you wank to for free (and guilt free, apparently).

Short Story: Put Her In A Photograph

“Thank you for being willing to see me today,” she said over the phone as I unlocked the door to my studio. “I’ll be there in about five minutes.

“Okay. The door will be unlocked. Just come on in. I’ll be in the back setting up,” I said as I ended the call. I had been a professional photographer for just a couple of years, and I loved what I did. One of my friends called to say that a coworker of hers was looking to have some glamour shots done but she could only come in on Sundays. I usually take Sunday’s off to recharge my batteries, but it had been a slow week it seemed to be an easy enough gig.

I closed the door behind me and headed back towards the portrait area of my workspace. I clicked on the overhead lights as I pulled down the backdrop and started to rearrange the furniture for a shoot for one.

“Hello?” I heard a voice call faintly.

“Back here,” I shouted as I clicked on one of the umbrella lights and started to adjust it.

I could hear the sound of footsteps approaching. I finished adjusting the light and turned around. I found myself staring into the hazel eyes of my latest model.

She was a couple of inches shorter than me, and she was decidedly curvy—mainly because of the massive baby bump that she was sporting. She was wearing a tank top and maternity jeans, and carrying a medium sized duffel bag. She sported shoulder length red and purple hair with a flower tucked over her right ear.

She held out a hand to me. “I’m Jessica. It’s nice to finally meet you, Hayden. Thank you so much for doing this for me. Elizabeth said you were the best.”

The Lust List: Winter 2015-16 Part II

(For Part I of the Lust List, hop on over here. Otherwise, read on.)

Excuse me. I need a second to catch my breath and towel off.

It's been...quite taxing to try and get part two of the list together.

It takes hours of painstaking research to compile this list, and the research takes time because of, well, interruptions.

On a totally related note, my right elbow is quite sore.

Anyway, to give you all the overview of what this is:

“[T}he compendium of women that, if I can be frank, make me light in the big head and heavy in the small one. Women that get the blood flowing south of the border. Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating crackers.

(Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating anything, now that I think about it.)

Okay, fine: Women in the adult industry that I would like to fuck. There. I said it bluntly and crassly.

Now, I realize that there are some women on the list from time to time that do not do hardcore; I never stated that it has to be hardcore, girl/boy performers. If there is any doubt, just read the line above in italics. It's simply about my preference, not how they make their money in the industry.

(Although, again, I would like to mention that if any of the women on here would be interested in doing a content for trade shoot from my Point Of View, well, you can contact me at: jaysonfdean@gmail.com. ;) Prior work can be viewed on my Clips4Sale store. But I digress.)

Oh, and I know in the previous post I said that this would be a newcomers list. Well, I was wrong. There were a couple of women on previous lists so irresistible I just couldn't leave them off.

Without further ado (and because you're sick of my ranting), here is Part II of the 2015-16 Winter Lust List:

Event Promotion: BBW Strip Night During AVN/AEE

If you are a BBW fan/admirer, and in town during the Adult Entertainment Expo/AVN Awards, there is an event that you absolutely have to add to your itinerary.

On Thursday, January 21, Las Vegas resident Eliza Allure and friends will be hosting a BBW Strip Show at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club. The winning dancer will receive a $300 cash prize, and there will be autographed pictures given away to lucky fans. Judges include the legendary Shane Diesel and the gorgeous Alura Jenson.

Some of the women who will be dancing include Lila Lovely, Karla Lane, Nikki Wilder and Lyla Everwettt. You can also partake of drink specials while watching the gorgeous women performing for your entertainment.

Doors will open at 9pm, and entrance to the event is through the VIP entrance at the rear of the club, which is located at 6007 Dean Martin Drive.

For more information, to set up a reservation, or to catch limo service to the club, visit www.vegashustlerclub.com

Fat Guys Needed For Filming!

If you've followed me on Twitter or even gone back through some of the writing I've done on here, I've long been an advocate of us fat guys showing out on video more in positive ways. I think it's necessary for us to show that we can be loved and are lovable too, damnit.

Tim Von Swine, one of the best directors of all time and a fellow fat guy, thinks so as well. His "Pigpen" video series (and subsequent site) shows porn actress of all sizes (petite pixies to BBW) getting it on with him. Us "Big Handsome Men" (BHMs) can sling dick just as good as the studs with six packs, and I give all the credit to Swiney for being a trailblazer in that regard.

The Lust List: Winter 2015-16, Part I

This is, by far, the most enjoyable category of posts that I write every year.

This year, however, in the spirit of the reboot of the site, I am breaking what has traditionally been my cardinal rule:

No repeats.

But...well...as I have stated before in the introduction to past Lust Lists:

The main rule (which I reserve the right to break) is that there is a one-time appearance limit, although it does not necessarily mean that my lust for previous women has abated.

Consider this edition the rule breaking edition.

Again, let me reiterate what this is:

“[T}he compendium of women that, if I can be frank, make me light in the big head and heavy in the small one. Women that get the blood flowing south of the border. Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating crackers.

(Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating anything, now that I think about it.)

Okay, fine: Women in the adult industry that I would like to fuck. There. I said it bluntly and crassly.

(And if any of the women on here would be interested in doing a content for trade shoot from my Point Of View, well, you can contact me at: jaysonfdean@gmail.com. ;) Prior work can be viewed on my Clips4Sale store. But I digress.)

The list will be broken up into two parts. Again, to reiterate: This list below features women who have been featured in previous editions of the list. A newcomers list will follow in the next few days.

After the jump, let me present, without further ado, the Winter 2015-16 Lust List (Part I):

Return of the Mack. Okay, so not really.

First...a little mood music:

 

 

Okay, now that that is out of the way, I want to say welcome (once again).

 

Welcome to version 2.0 of BBW Pornucopia.

 

The site has essentially, save for one short story, has laid dormant for a year. Honestly, the last real bursts of activity were in 2013. As often happens, life got in the way. And since this site is more of a labor of love than a source of income, income generating activities had to take priority.

 

With that being said, though, I firmly believe that I need to carve out some time each month to focus on hobbies. And so, I come back to this site.

So, what is it going to look like going forward? I'll discuss below.

Short Story: "Private Dance Lesson"

(Author's note: This story is part of a series I plan on working on involving stories inspired by porn performers. You can consider "Service Call" from last year the first one; this one is inspired by Lyla Everwettt.)

Private Dance Lessons

My phone buzzed. I had an incoming text message. It was from my friend Matt:

Sry. Cant make it. Strep throat. Catch ya in a few days.

“Oh, are you shitting me?” I groaned. It was my worst nightmare come true.

Matt, somehow, had talked me in to signing up for dancing lessons. He assured me it was a great place to meet women. Not that he had trouble meeting women on his own; he was tall with movie star good looks.

I was always cast in the role of his wingman; bearded, overweight person of color to the blonde conquering hero. It was my lot in life. He was a great friend, don’t get me wrong; always there for me when I needed him and I’d known him since college.

But his getting sick left me stuck in a class that I didn’t want to be in doing something that I didn’t have the ability to do well: Dance.

I found myself in a familiar position in the studio where class was as I slipped my phone back into my pocket: hugging the wall. Alone.

The co-instructors for the class, a delightful, vivacious elderly couple in their 60s, welcomed us to the lesson today. The wife said, “We will focus on two dances today—the waltz and the tango. It looks like we have an equal number of men and women, so everyone find a partner.”

I looked around the room, trying to find someone who might take pity on me. And then I saw her across the room. A pale skinned BBW. Her shoulder length brown hair was highlighted with strips of purple and blue and done up in pigtails. She wore tortoise shell glasses, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt that showed off her amazing chest, and a pair of jeans that accentuated an absolutely amazing booty. Our eyes locked from across the room and she smiled at me, revealing two dimples that caused my knees to get weak.

The Lust List, Winter 2014 Edition

After a long, difficult year, we find ourselves here again in December.

It’s the holiday season, and so I want to give all of my fellow BBW lovers/aficionados a gift:

It’s time for the latest iteration of the Lust List.

What is the lust list, you may ask? I am glad to tell you.

In fact, I will quote myself from last year in italics. My comments from this year are in parentheses:

“[T}he compendium of women that, if I can be frank, make me light in the big head and heavy in the small one. Women that get the blood flowing south of the border. Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating crackers.

(Women that I wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating anything, now that I think about it.)

Okay, fine: Women in the adult industry that I would like to fuck. There. I said it bluntly and crassly.

(You’re welcome.)

The main rule (which I reserve the right to break) is that there is a one-time appearance limit, although it does not necessarily mean that my lust for previous women has abated.

(I put that in because, let’s face it, there’s a couple for sure that would never leave the list, and that isn’t fair to the newcomers. Maybe I’ll do a personal hall of fame at some point.)

It’s a dirty dozen this year, with twelve lucky ladies making the cut for this appearance. Some are newbies, some are veterans, but they are all top notch in my book. And on my screens. And in my dreams.

I need a towel.

And remember: The order is not by preference. The order is 100 percent randomized for your pleasure. This is not a ranking.

Without further ado, the Lust List for 2014:

Fine line between Flirting and Thirsting?

Social media has been a wonderful tool in the 21^st century. I’ve written before about the positives of the way that it allows fans of folks who work in the adult industry. It has been a boon.

One of the places I find myself struggling at times, though, is when it comes to compliments and innuendo. Again, a topic that I have espoused theories about in the past, so it’s slightly trodden ground.

But the place I am coming from today is the external perception that you can face from others if you go too far.

In other words, there is a fine line between flirty and thirsty.

Short Story: "Service Call"

It started with an innocent enough comment from someone on Twitter:

Well, the AC man is due here any minute. Guess I better put some clothes on. Damn
— Sensual Sammie (@SammieSC2) October 8, 2014

 

I of course had to respond:

 

@SammieSC2 Well...are you sure you HAVE to? Odds are he MIGHT be okay if you don't. I know I would be.
— Jayson Dean (@jaysonfdean) October 8, 2014


@SammieSC2 You might have inspired me to write a new short story. ;)
— Jayson Dean (@jaysonfdean) October 8, 2014

 

And so here is the story. If you like this story and want to see more that I've written, I have actually created a collection of my previous erotic shorts called "Three to Tango." It's available for your Amazon Kindle e-reader or if you have an Amazon app for your smartphone or tablet. You can purchase my book here.

 

 

Service Call

 

It was the last service call of the day for me, and what a day it had been. It was approaching 5pm and I had been working 10 hours straight. Apparently everyone’s air conditioning decided to go out today in the middle of an early fall heat spike. And when you live in Las Vegas, it’s easy for your air conditioning to get overworked and give up the ghost at any time—especially at inconvenient times.

 

I pulled up to the house, grabbed my clipboard and toolbox and hopped out of the truck. I double checked the address against my call sheet as I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. I stood there, waiting. Nobody came to the door. I rang the bell again, a little more impatiently this time.

I couldn’t believe my luck. “The perfect end to a hellish day,” I muttered to myself. All I wanted to do was go home, take a shower and have a beer and some dinner. I rang the bell one more time and knocked twice.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I heard a voice say from behind the door. I looked down at my clipboard to check the name of the customer. The door opened a few seconds later.

“Hi, Miss Baker? I’m Quentin from Southern Nevada HVAC Repair. I’m here to check out your system….” I said. My voice trailed off as I looked up from my clipboard.