Burning Question: Porn Star LTR?

We have a burning question provided by the lovely Betty Blac that I told her I would answer in a blog post instead of a tweet. The question:

Would you marry or have a ltr with a porn star? Why or why not? Open or closed relationship?
— Betty Blac (@BettyBlac1) October 1, 2012

Well. Here we go.



I think that it is safe to say that quite a few men would answer this question in the affirmative at first blush. It is a primal male fantasy to have a woman that is sexually liberated be your partner. There has to be quite a bit of ego puffery that comes with saying that your long term partner or wife is a porn actress—even more so if you are a civilian.

Also, to be fair, there is a certain amount of health risk that comes along with having a partner who is in the industry. While testing for HIV and some other basic STIs occurs at least every 30 days, that doesn't mean that things don't slip through the cracks, as the latest health scare involving Mr. Marcus proved.

But risk of injury or compromised health relating to work can happen in any type of relationship, so I don't want to overstate its importance to this discussion.

I believe you have to have a small ego, or one that is not going to be easily bruised. You have to have an open heart and an open mind if you are going to go through with a long term relationship with someone in the industry (again, speaking from the perspective of an outsider). Especially if that person becomes (or is) one of the bigger names on the interwebs and in the media. Thick skin will make a difference. You also might not want to read some of the fanboards. Just for your own sanity.

Those are some of my overarching thoughts. My own personal opinion? Speaking hypothetically? I would be willing to have a long term relationship with someone who worked in porn. But the caveat would be same ones I would have about any relationship: How well do I connect with the person?

Basically:

Is she smart?

Is she funny?

Does she make me happy?

Do I find her attractive?

If I can answer all four in the affirmative, then it would have to be worth a "go" right? Yeah, I know. It's not ideal. But sometimes, if it's love, there isn't time to sit around and wait for the ideal time. Ideal circumstances don't occur every bloody day. So give it a shot.

As far as closed or open, I prefer closed. Or at least a "don't tell me unless I ask about it" situation. Work doesn't count because, hey, we all need to bitch about our shitty co-workers or bosses after a tough day at the office. Or on the set. Or whatever.