I am also far from an expert when it comes to women, although there are times when I feel less foreign in that arena than in others that actually fall within my purview.
With all of that being said...guys, it might be time to review a few rules of engagement centering around interacting with your favorite adult industry worker. It could be a contract girl, a BBW Plumper Pass actress, a SSBBW Cam Girl, an escort...whoever or whatever floats your own particular pontoon.
1. Don't act like a jerkwad. I know, it seems utterly simplistic to have this listed first because it should seem like it is common sense. It's also a broad statement, because jerkwaddery can take on so many different forms. Look, if it's something you would never say to a civilian female (i.e. someone not in the adult industry) in an everyday setting, DON'T FUCKING SAY IT!
2. Don't ask for free shit. Be it pictures, videos, a phone call, etc. Don't beg for product. It's unbecoming, and it makes you look like a tightwad. In other words, a cheap bastard. Now, if you are a cheap bastard, that's a separate issue. But don't send tweets or direct messages asking for a special handout. If they happen to post a naked or half-naked picture on their timeline, then great. Enjoy that and only that.
3. Don't beg for sex or ask to meet. Some web girls (I hate that term, but I hate calling anyone over the age of 18 a "girl." It's my own pet peeve, but roll with it here.) do mention meeting their fans, and some are open to that. But that is on a case-by-case basis. Usually if such a thing were to occur, the woman in question would mention that in a section on her website. Or...they may advertise a special event where a fan encounter can happen. But again, those kinds of conversations are best conducted after research is done and off of social media.
4. While there are many varied fantasies that many of us guys have when it comes to women in the adult entertainment industry, please do keep in mind that they are still women. I don't care if you've seen every up close shot of their naughty bits that they've ever done in their career. I don't care if you own every scene they've put out on DVD and on the web. I don't care if you've grabbed their tits at AVN or BBW Fan Fest or Exxotica. Please remember that they are still women. They're someone's daughter. They may be someone's wife or girlfriend or mother. This relates to point number one ("Don't act like a jerkwad.") but I do think it bears repeating. She's not necessarily a slut who is only sitting around the house in a La Perla nightie (or less) 24-7 thinking only about sex.
5. Speaking of buying scenes on DVD or on the web, don't forget that this is their job. Support them like you support your favorite band or mainstream film stars. Don't visit tube sites and rip videos from there. Actually spend real American (or Canadian or whatever your currency may be) dollars and purchase a scene. I'm not going to preach about tube sites being akin to Napster/Morpheus/Limewire in the 90s and early 2000s, but it kind of is. If you don't buy clips or DVDs, or sign up for site memberships, it will be hard for the industry to continue. Allocate some of your monthly entertainment budget to cover this expense. A fan doesn't steal from the artist; a fan supports the artists financially so that they can continue to produce the art that makes the fan happy. Symbiosis is a wonderful thing, yes?
I am sure that there are more, and I would love to hear from fans and industry workers alike on this one. What would you add to these rules of engagement? What can we, as fans, do to help make interactions more enjoyable in both directions?
Leave a comment here, get in touch with me on Twitter (@Jaysonfdean) or via email at jaysonfdean@gmail.com.
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